Making Friends at RMH

For the most part, during my stay here in Philly and at the Ronald McDonald House, I've politely kept to myself. I nod a cheery 'hello' to folks i recognize and have seen continuously at the house, as well as in the hospital. It seems a lot of the folks at RMH have children specifically on the Cardiac 6th Floor of CHOP. And a lot of them are babies, like Henry. During dinner times, i'll tend to sit close to those i am familiar with, but i have not been actively participating in discussions. Most of the discussions are about the children and their care, and I tend to sit back and listen during those times instead of proactively sharing my story. Just my style, i guess you could say. If someone ASKS me, then i willingly engage in conversation.

There's been something about the past week that has changed.
And i can thank my Mom for it all.

One night i sat next to a woman that's always been very friendly and smiley toward me. Her name is Rachel and her nephew Bradley has been here since before Thanksgiving. The funny thing is, despite my keeping to myself, i have been listening to people's names and memorizing them. I'm odd, right? Why wouldn't i USE them and interact, right? I've always been more of an observer than a chatter box. But i digress.

So that one night, i sat next to Rachel and across from her sat Christine, a cleaning lady at the RMH, getting her supper before her evening shift. Across from me sat another gentleman, who i think is named Jim, one of the volunteers who often drives the shuttle van to the hospital. I like him. I remember him talking a few times about his parents who are in their 80s and travel the country to visit their various kids all in their 60s. I found that fascinating and HAPPY.

A younger volunteer, late teens, maybe early 20s, came over to tell Christine (in her 50s or so) that one of the bathrooms was overflowing, could she clean it up before she cleaned up the rooms. There was difficulty in his communicating what he wanted to say, but more importantly, HOW to say it to Christine. There wasn't much tact or respect for this older woman who does a great job for this great place. I chalked it up to maturity, but i SO wanted to pull him aside (in a lateral world, mind you) and "teach" him how to approach this topic. Well, there was some back and forth and by the time he left, there was definitely a 'tone' going on. We could all tell that Christine was feeling slighted and Jim broke the tension with a joke about how The Kid could have cleaned it up in the time it took for him to try and explain it to Christine. Christine said something purposely under her breath and we all laughed. The point of this story is to share how we were all brought together to chat.

We were talking about how good dinner was. Chicken something. And Jim said, "Yeah, but sometimes chicken can get blah, like it becomes chicken chicken chicken!"

And of course a memory of my Mom comes to mind and i say "You guys wanna hear a funny story?" They all nod yes enthusiastically. All of a sudden, i felt like a really successful comedienne that everyone had come specifically to see. Here was my chance in the spotlight.

(BTW, for the record, my father may not remember this story the same way as I did, if at all. Love ya dad!)

So i say "One time, my mom cooked dinner for my dad and i. I was probably about 14 or so. And it was chicken. Probably chicken and vegetables and her favorite boxed mashed potatoes. And my dad sat down and said, "oh MAN - - chicken AGAIN!?!? I'm so sick of chicken." And i remember daring to look over at my mom's face, knowing that it wouldn't be good. She smirked a sour smile and said, "tonight will be the last night for chicken, dear."

The next day, she went to the grocery store and bought a whole deep freezer worth of frozen t.v. dinners. Packed that puppy TO THE TOP. Salisbury Steak (oh YUM (not!)), 'fried' chicken, meatloaf, mac-n-cheese, etc. You know all the choices Stouffers offers. That's what she bought. And i remember saying, "But MOMMMM, *I* didn't complain. Why do i have to eat this stuff too?" And she said "I'm sorry that you have to suffer for what your father said. Sometimes life is not fair."

And Christine and Rachel and Jim thought this was the FUNNIEST STORY ever! Especially Christine. She is a black woman full of life and she laughed so hard I think she almost choked! She went on and on "OH baby doll... that is the FUNNNIEST thing i have heard in all my years sitting here at dinner. From now on, i want you to sit with me at supper so that i can laugh like that, cuz i LUUUVV laughin' that hard. It makes me feel GOOOD!"

So now i was just on a roll. And feeling good remembering Mom in ways that make me laugh and love her so much. AT THE TIME, these stories weren't so funny, but now... they're gold.

"Well, if you think THAT'S funny... get this... my dad and his brother used to boil water in the tea kettle on the stove for their coffee. But a lot of times, they'd forget to put water in the kettle and just turn it on high and end up burning up the kettle. So my mom had had enough of that foolishness (she loved using that phrase!) and one morning, on her way to work, packed up all four burners in her bag and left the stove NAKED. To this day, Dad nukes his water for coffee now."

Christine just about had a heart attack. I loved watching her laugh so hard. Rachel was too. Jim was just nodding his head with a big smile, and i pretended that he was commiserating with my father, indirectly.

Since that night, it has opened the door to fun conversations and friendly(er) interactions with The Regulars here. There are a few families that have been here just as long as me, or just about (and some longer). Rachel and i now walk to and from CHOP together quite often, working off our caloric dinners. Another gal's mom, Mary and I, have found each other for dinners and bonded over birth stories.

Another funny story before I end this rambling...

Last night, these two dudes dressed as clowns come clopping around the cafeteria during dinner. Big shoes, makeup, the works. The one guy joked, picking up three Corelle Ware plates and pretended to start juggling them. I said, "you know, you COULD juggle those cuz they won't break if you drop them." They kind of fall out of character to ask, "what? What do you mean they won't break?" I said, "they won't! Its the material they're made out of. They are a combination of ceramic and glass, called a polyceramic. They are nearly indestructable." They look TOTALLY IMPRESSED and ask me several times, "Is that really true?" I said, "well, basically. I mean, they CAN break, but they don't usually. I've dropped a lot of them and they don't."

So they begin this juggling act. Three Corelle Ware plates are flying in the air. The dude naturally loses his stride and drops two of them. One bounced, and the other... well **SMASH** into a MILLION pieces. That's the other thing about this material that i failed to mention. When it DOES break, it's breaks into A TON OF SHARDS! Oh boy, whatta mess. I must have turned 18 shades of red, cuz it was MY FAULT! The whole place cracked up.

So i got up to clean it up, looking for a broom. And here's Christine booming behind me "oh Baby Doll (that cracks me up!) - - you are your MOTHER'S CHILD!!! MM-mmmmm - oh yes... you are your MOTHER'S CHILD and i LOVE IT!" She was hysterically laughing again and she actually playfully fought me over the broom. It's like we were almost part of the act!!! She refused to let me clean it up. I really was blushing. On my way to the shuttle to go back in to snuggle with Hank for the evening, the 2 clowns said "where are YOU going? You make a mess and then LEAVE!?" Too funny.

Good times at the RMH. It feels good to know that i'm breaking the ice in what can and often is a potentially depressing atmosphere. Laughter isn't always the right thing to do all the time, of course, but the past few evenings, it's felt warranted and right.